It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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