New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
