there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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