so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
now i know why i became what i already was.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize