This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
