Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
