a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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