p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
