Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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