I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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