My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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