consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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