Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
