hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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