So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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