what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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