woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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