No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
how drunk are you?
Several
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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