I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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