Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
