Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
