The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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