I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
