Got a toothbrush?
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
