VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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