get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize