Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize