Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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