this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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