two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
