even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So. Much. Porn.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
