I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
