This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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