If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
and you said cock pushups were impossible
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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