I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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