I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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