Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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