Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
