My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think a kid would responsible me up
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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