Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
