this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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