This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
