I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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