There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
