I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize