Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
