She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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