Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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