Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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