Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
In America we eat man semen.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize