i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
