My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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