Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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