i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
What a dumb baby whore.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize