She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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