I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
