i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
