So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
