Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
