They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
