TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
