I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
