handjob tips. give me some.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My ATM looks so different sober.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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