so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
