They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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