When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
