Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I deserve this hangover.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
