In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
