im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
