I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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