you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
