Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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