Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
