Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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