Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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