Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
