brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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