I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
God, I missed his penis.
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