ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
