Barsexuality is the new black.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
