do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
