Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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